The Eagle has Landed

Today is day two of bedrest and I am starting to go a little stir crazy. I mean there is only so many girly movies, television talk shows one girl can take. I digress... The transfer is what I am here to write about.

The transfer was scheduled for 11:15 on Tuesday, the 15th. Tax Deadline(is this a good sign or a bad one). We were to arrive an hour earlier at 10:15. I think we were almost thirty minutes late. My husband was late (not according to him, according to him I should have told him to be ready earlier, hmm...I going to choose to ignore this for now, we had someplace important to be). Then we hit traffic going across town. Of course. We arrived, valet, elevator to the 5th flr, hello to the nurse in reception and immediately brought into a small curtain area to undress and wait for nurse & Doctor. My husband was given scrubs to change into. I could tell he was feeling a bit uneasy about being a spectator for this event. But he was a trooper. He put his booties and we waiting. We saw the nurse. We checked out ok. She let us now that Dr. G., our Dr., was performing the transfers today. Yeah! I was happy about that. A short time later Dr. G. stopped by. He had the report on our embryos. All 6 were still growing but not well. One embryo had made it to 7 cell (the norm on day 3 is 6 to 8 cell) and was grade 1 (the best). We had decided earlier to only transfer a single embryo but I thought there may be some dicussion on whether to transfer 2 given the quaility of the others. I was a bit worried about this because I think my reaction would have been that we should go for two but D. would be very scared. Dr. G. solved that for us. He came in and said "we have 1 excellent quality embryo to transfer. He must of known we were doing a single embryo transfer today and he wanted to make sure he was it". It was such a small thing but that statement made me feel really good anout transferring the one. It just felt right. D. put his mask on and we headed into the OR. I hopped up on the table. The lovely nurse that assisted rolled over a seat for D. My legs were draped and placed in stir up. The embryologist checked confirmed with me my name and date of birth, my hospital bracelet and then we were ready. I could not help but cry. They were happy and sad tears. Happy that we were finally here after all the appts. discussions, tests, waiting. It was finally happening. But a bit sad because you cannot help but feel that We should not have to be here. Other people do not have to be here. Don't get me wrong I am so grateful that this is available and available to me. But I can see the sadness in D's eyes that he is responsible for this, that he wishes he did not have to see me with my legs in stir ups and a dr. inserting our baby to be into me. Not what one imagines when making a child. The nurse asked me not to move during the acutal procedure. The Dr. does a test run and then the cathether with our embryo was brought in. He said "when you feel my hand do not move". I felt his hand. I closed my eyes. I focused on my breath. I did not move. The nurse said "30 seconds" and then it was all over. The speculum was removed. I sat up and was moved to a recliner on wheels. I was recovering from my weepiness when Dr. G said "this is for you, it looks like an 8-cell to me". He handed me a picture of our embryo. Well the water works picked right back up. They were happy tears. I was rolled back into my curtan room and left to recline for 30 minutes. I used the rest room, dressed and left. I have been on bedrest since. I have until tomorrow morning and then I am liberating myself. I try to remain positive. I am trying to remain stress free. I just want this to work. Pregnancy test on 4/30.