28 Weeks 2 days

Things are moving right along. I am still feeling great and looking, well, not so great. I do not have that nice basketball belly. Instead I seem to have an upper and lower belly divided at my belly button. Not very flattering. But I have told myself I will not be critical of my body while it is doing this amazing thing. I mean my body is making a human being. How incredible is that? I do remind myself of that often because it is just so amazing. I love feeling Jack kick and move around. I have just started to think about how much I will miss carrying him around in my belly. I am glad I still have the next twelve weeks to having him with me at all time.

We attended class one of the two-part natural childbirth classes yesterday. It was disappointing. Most of the information I already knew. The other participants were annoying. Everyone had to state the best and worst part of pregnancy so far. i could not get over just how much people were complaining about being pregnant. Do not get me wrong I know some people have it rough with morning sickness for 9 months, having to take insulin injections but these were just whining about my boobs getting too big. Really? come on. We may skip part two. My next doctors appointment is two weeks from today. After that we are on every two weeks. We are getting closer. It is exciting to think I will get to met you soon.

26 weeks 3 days

Things seem to be moving right along. Only 95 days (give or take)left. Time is going by so fast. I am not sure I will be feeling that way come December. But for now I can say I am really enjoying being pregnant. I am just amazed that my body is creating a human being. I love feeling Jack's kicks and movements. He seems busiest when I am sitting at my desk typing away and again in the evenings when I climb into bed. That seems to be his favorite time to play. D still has not been able to really feel those kicks. Just as he touches my belly Jack would decide to stop his movements and leave his Dad just a bit frustrated. I am sure as Jack grows stronger and bigger those kick and punches will be much more easily felt. Fr now I get to treasure these special moments between Jack and I.

I had my Gestational Diabetes test this morning. The drink was not as bad tasting as I had read. Just tasted like a flat orange soda. As I sat there waiting out the hour I did start to feel a bit of a headache. I am hoping that is not an indication that I am going to fail this test. I will only hear from the Doctor if I fail. So here is hoping for no news.

We toured the hospital on Saturday. The hospital was nice and newly renovated. They were incredibly busy and we were not able to view a postpardum room. All three floors were book. How crazy is that? I will say for all those patients, each one of the floors was incredibly quiet. I am a bit disappointed that there is not a tub in the room or on the floor. I was hoping to at least labor in water. I hope I am able to hold off going to the hospital and labor at home in my own tub. D was disappointed to find out there is no liquor cart for the dads:)

Next up is the natural childbirth classes...

23 weeks, 2 days

I had my regular monthly check up with Dr. M. this morning. For once his office was quiet and I did not have to wait at all. This is a first. All with me and Jack is just perfect. Although I wish my weight gain was less Dr. M. says it is fine. I have gained 21 pounds. In line with the 1 lb a week. But if you add in the weight I gained with fertility treatments I am up 27 lbs. Augh. I have 17 weeks to go. I was really hoping to keep the gain to the recommended 35 lbs. I know I could be eating better and now that we have finally moved (again!!!) into our semi-perm. digs I will hopefully be more able to focus on me and Jack.

Here is to a heathly 17 weeks

Normal

We received the results on Friday at 3:00pm est that Jack does not have downs syndrome. It was one of the more difficult weeks of my life. And I weep just thinking about it. The decision to move forward with the amnino was agonizing. We had fought so hard for Jack that to risk his life to have answers tortured me. We did not speak much about the procedure or the possible results during the days we waited to hear. Just before I made the call to hear the results it struck me as odd that we had not discussed it. We were not prepared to hear anything other than " the results are normal". And I am so glad that is just what we heard.

Amnio

Today we did the amnio. The procedure was over quickly. I would describe it as uncomfortable more than painful. There is just pressure. My Dr. has requested FISH results so we should know the results by Friday afternoon.

The best part of today was seeing Jack again. On Monday he was sleeping and not moving around much during the US. Today he was face up and moving quite a bit more. We were able to confirm again he is a boy. At one point it looked like he was waving to us. And we counted 5 fingers. Yeah.

Monday's post... And you are a ..............

BOY!!!!!!!!!!

Today was our big Ultrasound. We were surprised to hear the baby is a BOY. Even though I had two dreams that the baby is a boy everyone around us seemed to think girl. I think we started to believe it too after Dr. M. listened to the heartbeat and predicted girl. But I need to learn to trust my instincts and intuition more.

So Jack it will be. We are very excited about your arrival. We are still working on a middle name.

The US was not without concern. After two US techs viewed Jack the US Dr. came into the room. She told us Jack had EIF. EIF in itself is nothing. It is a calcification on the heart. It does not affect form or function. However it is a soft marker for downs. It has halved my risk factor from 1/1100 to 1/550. Our option is do nothing or have an amnio. While we believe Jack is just perfect we did not want to be preoccuiped for the next 5 months with wondering what if... So we are doing the amnio on Wednesday. I will be on bedrest for three days.

19 weeks

I need to do a few catch up posts. First.
Me at 19 weeks. See a difference. I felt baby move in the shower on Saturday, the 9th. Right before this photo was taken.

Mom and Kelly came into the city to spend some time with us. We checked out the Madonna Della Cava feast here in the North End. We had a great time. So, did Archibald. He was treated to vanilla ice cream and some sausage. We were treated to vomit later that night. Not so fun.

18 weeks 3 days

I finally had David take a picture of my growing belly. He seems to be really into taking pictures of me so we can show the baby all the things that we did while he/she was growing in my belly.

I am feeling great. I have lots of energy and no more sickness for several weeks now. Amen.

Just 6 more wake ups until we found out if we will have a son or daughter. I am crazy with excitement (and a bit of my usual nervousness before a doctor's appointment).

Peoples predictions:
Daddy- Girl
Gramma- Girl
Aunt Kelly- No prediction either way. Too early
Aunt Maureen- Girl
Aunt Pixie-Boy
Deb M- Girl
Lori Ann- Girl
Maureen- Boy
Dr. Mansour- Girl
Chinese Gender- Boy

Girl is in the lead.... We will see if that holds true on Monday.

As for me I thought boy all the first trimester. I have had dreams about babies and they have all been boys. But lately I have been thinking maybe a girl.

16 Weeks tomorrow

I will be sixteen weeks tomorrow. These months are going by so quickly(I wonder if I will still be thinking that in month 9). I have my next check up on Monday and it cannot come fast enough. I feel really good. Too good maybe. At least that is what I keep telling myself. I just need some reassurance things with bean are just perfect. I am not feeling movement yet, too early. I no longer feel sick. Other than my inability to get a good nights sleep,physically I really do feel great. Emotionally is a different story. Things at home have been crazy with the stress of having to move, job losses and new baby on the way we have had every major life event there is crammed into a four month period. It has proved to be too much. I worry that the stress of all of it is being felt by bean. I feel just awful about that. I am already failing as a parent. I want to protect bean from the screams and shouts, the stress and feelings of unhappiness. I worry that all if this will do some harm. I am trying really hard to remain calm. To focus on bean and our well-being. All will work out in the end. This is all temporary distractions and disruptions in our lives.

14 weeks 3 days

And all is well. At least I think it is. I have been feeling really well. Just like my old self. It makes me hope that bean is still doing well in the comfort of my well padded belly.

Last week I had the results of my NT Scan and blood work. Without my scan and bloodwork, using just my age, my risk for the bean to have downs is 1:139. With the scan and bloodwork it is 1:1100. This is the same risk for a 25 year old. I rejoiced with the news and we decided we will not do the amnio.

Next appt is at 16 weeks, 3 days. Two weeks from today. After that I think we will have a level 2 U/S at 18 weeks. And we will know if bean is a she bean or a he bean. Exciting stuff.

First OB appointment

Yesterday was my first OB appointment. I decided to go with the referral from my RE. So far I am glad I did.. I liked him. We went thru all family medical history, urine test, Pap(ouch), and the best part a quick peek of the bean via US. I was so relieved to see that beating heart. I have a few days of feeling like everything is just perfect. Then as we get further away from my last appointment and closer to the next I will start getting a bit worried. Maybe I should look into getting a doppler. Next week I have the NT scan. Things seem to be moving along quickly now.

10 Wks 4 days

I meant to document this amazing journey everyday but as you can tell I have failed. A whole month has passed. There has just been too much happening to steal away a few moments to write here. So I will do my best to get better for the next 205 days (when it is in days it seems so much closer).

We moved. It was down to the wire adn was not without many an argument. At the very last minute we found temporary digs for the summer. We can move August 1st or Sept.1st. The new place is fine. Nothing special. The best part is the location. I no longer have to schlep up the hill everynight. And now that the temps have reached 100I am so happy about that...

I am officially released from my RE. My last visit on June 3rd was wonderful. I was so nervous as I started to feel a bit better(more on that below) so I of course was a nervous wreck that something was wrong. It was a very busy day at US and I had to wait about 40 minutes to be seen. I could finally breathe when the tech placed the wand on my belly and there he was moving all around with a perfect heartbeat. It was the neatest most wonderful thing. The baby is measuring 6 days ahead. No change in due date. I think that is because the dates can be off + or - 3 to 5 days. I then met with the Doc. He said all looks great, congrats and good luck. And that was that. I officially became just another pregnant lady.

So, as I mentioned above I have been feeling sick. It started in week 7. I started feeling naseau thoroughout the day but no vomiting. Then on week 8 it happened. I vomited for the first time. Since then it has happened several times. It usually happens when I wait too long to eat. The problem with that is nothing really sounds good. I have a bagel every morning. I would prefer to be eating something else but nothing sounds appealing. Bread seems safe. Since giving up my morning coffee I have not been drinking anything in the a.m. Yesterday morning orange juice sounded good. I had quite a bit then took the dog for a walk and hopped in the shower. I started dry heaving almost immediately. So I cut the shower short and was over the toilet for a bit. It is almost reassuring when it does happen as it means I am still pregnant.

I am a bit surprised at just how nervous I have been. Normally I am not a worry wart. However I think it is because all I went thru to have this baby and if something were to happen it would not be so easy to get pregnant again.

My belly is growing a bit and in the evening it is definately noticable. My husband glanced at me two nights ago and said wow you are really pregnant. It was so funny. I think for men it is really hard to get their head around it until they can see it.

My next appt is Monday the 16th. I met my OB and I hope we get to see the baby again.

Oh yes, we have shared our news with almost everyone. My husband still has not told his sister but the rest of family and friends all know. My family is over the moon. There has not been a baby around for 8 years. My mom is already shopping.

Only two and a half weeks until the 2nd trimester.

We saw a heart beat

And I could finally breathe. First I had a transabdominal US and then a transvaginal US. Between the two the US tech to get a Doctor. I was a bit worried. It turned out I gave the wrong date from my retrieval so they thought the babies progress was behind. Thank goodness that was not the case. All is well with bean. His little heart was beating 122 bpm. Right on target. I burst into tears as soon as I saw him. Tears of happiness and relief.

We still have not told anyone. I was tempted to share the news today with my Mom but I was able to hold myself back. I think I would prefer to do that in person. I was with her on Sunday for Mother's Day and that would have been a great day to share the news. But I wanted this US as confirmation there really is a baby in there.

My next US is not for three weeks. I was suppose to be just two but my Doctor is not available. So three it is. I will have the US, meet with my Doctor and be released to a regular OB (which I need to find real soon). I cannot wait to see my baby again.

One week ago today..

I found out I was pregnant. I am not sure the news has sunk it for either of us yet. D is freaking out a bit. He would never say it was about the baby, but I know it is. I think it is normal for men to take care of his family. Even though we both work (and I will continue to do so after the baby) I think he feels that pressure more. So, I just let him roll with it. Me? I am feeling fine. No real symptoms. My breasts are bigger and I am constipated and tire more easily. No morning sickness, do dizzy spells, no metallic taste. I am anxious for the US on Tuesday. Last friday was my last contact with the Doctors office and it has me a bit on edge. I was buying Mother's Day cards today in CVS and almost bought some pregnancy tests to prove to myself I was infact still pregnant. I was able to resist for now. I am not making any promises about tomorrow though. Come on, I still have 5 whole days until the US.

On the housing front it appears we are screwed. We have three and a half weeks to find a place to move. We found one place but decided it was just a ridiculous amount of money for renting. I am so tempted to pack all of things and head to Portland. But no can do with maybe on board. Not yet anyway. If this apartment shit had gone down a few months from now that might have been the plan. Tonight I will be scouring craigslist for a new abode.

840

My HCG number more than doubled. The magic number 840. I could not have been more relived. No more betas for me. Which is slightly terrifying to me. I mean how will I know I am still pregnant? I might have to purchase some pregnancy tests just to make sure. Actually I have never tested positive on one of those suckers so I may buy one just to finally see those two lines. I have an ultrasound on May 13th at 12:45pm. I am so excited to see this little bean. I am praying he picked a good place to implant.

In other pregnancy news... I just had the first annoying person trying to give helpful advice to the pregnant person (I cannot believe this has happened already). After I got the call on the second beta number I decided I would take a trip to the bookstore to view some pregnancy books ( I hope I am not tempting fate here). So I selected two books. While standing in line the Woman in front of me turned and said "that book you have I was not impressed with that book at all. You should really get the book 40 weeks. That book was much better, it has pictures. My husband and I would sit together every Friday and look at what was happening that week. Oh, and congratulations." Are you kidding me? Maybe I am a bit on edge and being a bit harsh but I was annoyed that she invaded my personal space about something I consider very personal.

I am off to search for a new place to live.

Beta x 2

Today I reported to the hospital again to have blood drawn. Beta test number two. We are hoping the numbers double as they should. The magic number is 612. It is 10:30 am. On wednesday they called at 11:30 with my results. I am hoping for the same today. Please let those numbers double. I have not told anyone else. Surprisingly D and I have not even talked much about it. I think we are both to cautious to start making plans. I am not sure when we will tell. Maybe after we see the heartbeat or maybe not until the 2nd trimester.

I am trying to make sure that I although I am scared that I still enjoy every moment of this experience. I have almost no symptoms. The only one is being tired. I yawn throughout the day. No morning sickness, no sore breasts (they may be a bit bigger).

Okay- I need to go do some work.

Beta Day

I went for my blood test this morning. When the alarm went off I did not want to get out of bed to face this day. Perhaps I should be excited but I am more fearful. I have been teary all morning. Now I am at work. I know I said I would work from home today but plans change. Because of the apartment situation I had to work from home yesterday to view some apartments. So I am in the office today. I think it is probably better this way. More of a distraction.

My co-worker that is aware that I am in the middle of this process brought me flowers today. How sweet is that?! It is a nice reminder that people are in my corner and cheering me on whatever the outcome.

D and I decided we would wait and get the news together. So, I will be home for the news be it good or bad. As soon I receive the news I will post here with the results.

***********************************************************************************
I am updating to post. I am PREGNANT.I am in shock. This new was totally unexpected.I totally blew the agreement with D. I missed the call so the voicemail was there and I just kept staring at the phone. D's boss was in town so he was having a very busy day at work. I tried to reach him to listen to the message together. I just had to hear that message. He could not talk. So, I contemplated for about a second before I flipped that phone open and pressed 1 talk to dial VM. My nurse Sue on the other end sounded happy. And I thought as she was speaking the words .." I am calling today to tell you you are PREGNANT!" Oh my goodness. Good news. This worked. My one little embyro made it. He stuck with me and is growing in me right now. I closed the phone. Luckliy for me it was still listed as a new message. I thought I could still listen with D later and that is how he will find out. I ran to my co-workers office closed her door and said for the first time ever I am pregnat. She jumped up we hugged and cried. I was shaking. It is just shocking. We talked for a long while. I came back to my office and just had to listen to the message again. I mean what if I only heard what I wanted to hear. I listened again. Sure enough I am pregnant. My HCG # is 306. I go back on Friday to repeat. Please let this bean stick. Please let that number double.

So, my plan was still to wait until D and I could listen to the message at home but that soon changed. He got tied up at work with the boss in town. We knew this might happen. When D called me on my way home from work and asked my how I was doing I replied Good. It was a little too good of a response. That prompted him to ask if I listened to the message. I could not lie. So D was told over the phone on the way to a meeting with his boss. Not exactly what I imagined in my head but what really ever is.

Less than 24 hours to go...

By this tme tomorrow we will know if we will get the best present ever in January 09. I am still thinking negatively. I know.. I should stop that. Can't help it.

I will be sure to post the results as soon as I have them.

13dp3dt

Only two more days to go till we find out if all this craziness has paid off in the form of one firm implanted growing embryo. I think the chances are pretty slim. (Actually I know the chances are slim.I think we had about a 30% chance this would work. Those are not great odds). I am still experiencing a few symptoms. I get up usually twice a night to pee. I have the occasional cramp. I am tired a lot. But all those things may be the cause of the estrace and PIO shots. So, only two more big needles one tonight and one tomorrow night. I feel pretty calm about all of this right now. I hope this means I will deal with any negative news well. But I fear not. So, I will work from home on Wednesday. I do not want to get that call at work. I am also thinking of letting the call go to voicemail. That will allow D and I to get the news together. I do not want to be the one the tells D I am not pregnant. Have I mentioned how much all of this sucks.

On the apartment front things have continued to be interesting. We have negotiated three different sums for us to be reimbursed for our troubles. The owners/buyers are at our home today for the inspection. The owner indicated to D that this sale may not go thru in the end. If that is the case we will stay put. Who the hell wants to pack and move all their shit after just moving in thirty days ago. In preparation for the possible upcoming move we have begun to seek new accomodations. Let me tell you there is nothing in Boston for June 1st. So, we got crap. D is meeting with the realtor today to few two more pads. I wonder if we will ever be settled....
I wish I was pregnant and we could just move to Portland. But that would require a whole job search thing on top of the whole home search thing. Hey... A girl can dream.

9dp3dt- Feeling Blue

So, I am feeling very different. And not in a good way. My boobs no longer hurt and I feel like my old self. So it seems this cycle is a bust. I have 6 more days until the beta test but I am sure it will only confirm what I have been feeling. I have been tearing up all day. Over all kinds of stupid stuff. D does not even seem to be aware that we are waiting to find out if we are pregnant and yet I cannot stop thinking about it. In my head I am already onto IVF #2. That is probably not the best attitude but I think it is a form of self preservation. I am trying to protect myself. I am planning to work from home the day of the beta. I am sure I will not be in any kind of shape to deal with the public. I am sorry to be such a bummer. I wish this was not the case. Boo-hoo for me.

7dp3dt- ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Okay- I just typed a long post and it is gone. This is BS.

So, you now get the sort version. I could not sleep. But I could last night.
I still have slightly sore breasts but I am beginning to feel this did not work. 7 more days till beta.

Our landlord wants us out after a month and a half so she can sell. Total BS. She will have to compensate us handily for this major pain in the ass.

thanks to blogger that is all you get

Starting to obsess- 5dp3dt

So, I thought I was handling this all so well. I did not have baby brain every second of the day. I was able to ficus on other things. I fear it is the beginning of the end. I once again had a hard time falling asleep ( what is this all about anyway?). Not sure if that is a symptom or not. When I woke up this morning my breasts were not as sore as they were the day before. I had a moment of panic. "Oh no this did not work. I will never be pregnant, blah, blah, blah". Then I started the counting on my hands. I have been doing this almost 100 times a day.It has been 5 days since the transfer, 8 days past the retrieval. On and on I go. Today marks 10 days past the HCG trigger shot. HCG is supposed to leave your system 1 day for every 1000 units. My trigger was 10,000 units. So that means if I POAS today it should be negative. But I am not going to. I have seen far to many of those negative sticks in my lifetime. I have promised myself I will wait until the beta, which is still 10 whole days away.
I need to get back to that positive place. This worke. I know this worked. We will be having a New Years baby.

4dp3dt

It has been 4 days. I am feeling...well, good. Maybe I am not suppose to? I mean, if I am pregnant maybe I should feel something? On Thursday and Friday I was crampy, not a lot. Just a bit throughout the day. Today nothing. I could not sleep again last night but that might be because I went to bed 5 minutes after I ate dinner( a burrito at that). So, I am feeling nothing. But the big surprise about this is I am very calm. I am not obsessing about all this every second of the day. 11 more days to blood test. I am choosing to remain optimistic.

In other news...

Spring has sprung. The sun is out and I was able to go out of doors without a coat for this first time since probably September of last year(have I mentioned I need to move to a warm climate). I spent three whole hours doing nothing but enjoying the warm rays from the sun. Well that and tossing a ball non-stop to the pooch. It has been a lovely day indeed.

3dp3dt

That is 3 days pasy a 3 day embryo transfer. Only 12 more days to beta. How am I feeling you ask, hmmm... normal. I have the occasional cramp or twinge. I was really tired when I woke up this morning. I got up three times to pee last evening(which may explain why I was so tired this morning). That is it. I got nothing. And I think it is suppose to be this way. How frustrating! I wish I just knew! I guess I am a bit on edge. Not all the time but I have my moments. Some moments I am completely at peace, not obessing about Am I? or Not?. Most of the time my thoughts do not drift anywhere else. I am back at work today. I thought that might help. Nope. As of this very moment I am feeling very hopeful, very positive that this has worked and by the new year we will be celebrating a new life. Or not.

The Eagle has Landed

Today is day two of bedrest and I am starting to go a little stir crazy. I mean there is only so many girly movies, television talk shows one girl can take. I digress... The transfer is what I am here to write about.

The transfer was scheduled for 11:15 on Tuesday, the 15th. Tax Deadline(is this a good sign or a bad one). We were to arrive an hour earlier at 10:15. I think we were almost thirty minutes late. My husband was late (not according to him, according to him I should have told him to be ready earlier, hmm...I going to choose to ignore this for now, we had someplace important to be). Then we hit traffic going across town. Of course. We arrived, valet, elevator to the 5th flr, hello to the nurse in reception and immediately brought into a small curtain area to undress and wait for nurse & Doctor. My husband was given scrubs to change into. I could tell he was feeling a bit uneasy about being a spectator for this event. But he was a trooper. He put his booties and we waiting. We saw the nurse. We checked out ok. She let us now that Dr. G., our Dr., was performing the transfers today. Yeah! I was happy about that. A short time later Dr. G. stopped by. He had the report on our embryos. All 6 were still growing but not well. One embryo had made it to 7 cell (the norm on day 3 is 6 to 8 cell) and was grade 1 (the best). We had decided earlier to only transfer a single embryo but I thought there may be some dicussion on whether to transfer 2 given the quaility of the others. I was a bit worried about this because I think my reaction would have been that we should go for two but D. would be very scared. Dr. G. solved that for us. He came in and said "we have 1 excellent quality embryo to transfer. He must of known we were doing a single embryo transfer today and he wanted to make sure he was it". It was such a small thing but that statement made me feel really good anout transferring the one. It just felt right. D. put his mask on and we headed into the OR. I hopped up on the table. The lovely nurse that assisted rolled over a seat for D. My legs were draped and placed in stir up. The embryologist checked confirmed with me my name and date of birth, my hospital bracelet and then we were ready. I could not help but cry. They were happy and sad tears. Happy that we were finally here after all the appts. discussions, tests, waiting. It was finally happening. But a bit sad because you cannot help but feel that We should not have to be here. Other people do not have to be here. Don't get me wrong I am so grateful that this is available and available to me. But I can see the sadness in D's eyes that he is responsible for this, that he wishes he did not have to see me with my legs in stir ups and a dr. inserting our baby to be into me. Not what one imagines when making a child. The nurse asked me not to move during the acutal procedure. The Dr. does a test run and then the cathether with our embryo was brought in. He said "when you feel my hand do not move". I felt his hand. I closed my eyes. I focused on my breath. I did not move. The nurse said "30 seconds" and then it was all over. The speculum was removed. I sat up and was moved to a recliner on wheels. I was recovering from my weepiness when Dr. G said "this is for you, it looks like an 8-cell to me". He handed me a picture of our embryo. Well the water works picked right back up. They were happy tears. I was rolled back into my curtan room and left to recline for 30 minutes. I used the rest room, dressed and left. I have been on bedrest since. I have until tomorrow morning and then I am liberating myself. I try to remain positive. I am trying to remain stress free. I just want this to work. Pregnancy test on 4/30.

Triggers, Retrievals and Transfers Oh My!!

Let's catch up shall we. I got the call on Thursday morning(after another round of bloodwork and a ultrasound) that I was ready. I had made 9 eggs. So for my efforts my husband could stab me with an inch and a half needle at precisely 9:45 pm. After this pleasurable expereince (really he did a great job) we were to report to the hospital at 8:45am on Saturday for a 9:45 retrieval. The retrieval occurred right on schedule. After the procedure I awoke back in my hospital bed. When I glanced at the clock it was 10:10 am. At the same time husband walked back into the recovery area with a fresh cup of coffee that I could not enjoy. He was surprised to see me so soon. I was given gingerale and saltines. After about an hour I used the restroom, dressed and was wheeled out of the hospital to the taxi. Oops I forgot the best part. Before we left the embryoloist stopped by to tell us how many eggs they got. The number was 10. I was happy with this as I was praying for double digits. So we go home am wait for the fertilization report.

Said fertilization report came at 11:30 am on Sunday. We were at Patagonia purchasing my a spring rain jacket. When the voice on the other end of the phone announced herself as Dr. my heart skipped a beat. Usually it is bad news if the Dr. calls. Thankfully that was not the case. Doctor told me the out the the 10 eggs, 7 were mature. Out of those 7 eggs, 6 fertilized. I felt my eyes fill up. But I did not cry. I don't think they minded. I was so relieved we had made it past this hurtle.I thanked the Doctor and promptly delivered the report to my husband and the other patrons at Patagonia.

Now we wait. Another round of waiting. This whole process involves a lot of waiting. We wait for another phone call. Today's call is to provide us an update on our embryos. If the embryos are still growing we will be given a time for the transfer that will occur sometime tomorrow. My fingers, toes, legs and eyes are crossed.

The Day Before

So, once again I break my promise to update more frequently. Oh well.

Let's see the last couple of days were a repeat of the the few days prior. Stickign myself with two needles daily, another stick by the nurse and wand stuffed up my female parts in hopes to see lots of eggies growing. All exciting stuff. And to thing some people just have sex to have a baby. How boring.

I am happy to report my estradiol level has been sufficiently raised and thus far my body has produced 9 folliciles. That progress allowed me the pleasure of having an inch and a half needle stick in my ass last evening courtesty of my husband. I am sure he enjoyed it more than I. This shot should tell my body to release those beautiful 9 eggs in 36 hours.

With the shot in the ass completed the next step is to report to the hospital at 0845 on Saturday for the egg retrieval. I am anxious to get this surgery part over with. The procedure should only take about 45 minutes and then I get to hang around for an hour or two until I can prove I know how to urinate on my own. Then I get to return home to lie on the couch, read trashy mags, and watch terrible movies. And maybe a little vomiting thrown in the mix. I have stocked up on my supply of gingerale, mags, and gatorade (which I have made made to understand is a must for anyone undergoing an egg retrieval).

I am excited to get this show on the road. I am experiencing wild swings from being absolutely convinced this will work to being sure it will not.

Fingers & Toes are crossed.

Cycle Day 12

Yesterday's report was E2 level was 693. I have 5 measurable follies. But the nurse failed to tell me the size. I was told to continue meds for Monday and Tuesday and return for bloodwork and ultrasound on Wednesday morning. My initial thought was Thank God I have not ovulated(I had a dream the night before that I had). And then I was happy that my E2 level more than doubled in two days. And I have 3 more measurable follies. Ah, but then.. Then I run to the internet to measure my progress against any information I can find. Why do I do this? It just makes me crazy. I have no reason to believe anything is "wrong". However I have diagnosed myself as a slow responder and I am now convinced I must have old eggs. Oh brother. Tell me it is the hormones. I know it is just me being me. I think the worst part of this process has been the not knowing. Not knowing what your next steps will be, will my medication be increased? decreased? when will I trigger? When will my retrieval and transfer be? I need to learn to give up control. This process has made me unable to focus on anything else. Work.. what is that? I did tell my boss what I am going thru. Oddly enough I had an employee give notice at work so she and her husband can focus on conceiving. I completely understood. And happily my boss did to. He and his wife went thru IVF and had a baby just about this time last year. Other than my boss and one co-worker I have only confided in one friend. We had agreed not to tell anyone. We wanted to avoid people asking how things were going all the time. I told this one friend that I actually do not talked to that often because it turns out she is starting down the path of exploring why she and her husband have not been successful in their attempts to get pregnant. So I wonder why are there so many people having trouble having children. Is it the age-factor? We are all waiting to have children. Is it the work thing? It really is that we are all stressed at work and it is affecting our fertility.

On the symptom side of things I am happy to report I feel fine. I have had those few earlier lupron headaches and a few night sweats. Those have stopped. Other than a few "rumblings" in my lower ab region I feel no different. I hope that is okay. I better go check the internet.

On to cycle day 13.

We have landed.. For now

So, once again more than a month goes by with no posts. This time I have excuses. We have moved. That was fast, right? Shortly after my last couple of posts we decided to make the jump to Boston for the short-term. One thing that sealed the deal for us was hubby got a new job. A jib that just happens to be in Boston. Our decision was made for us. It made much more sense for us to make the move and hubby have a 10 minute walk to the office while I maintain my 30 mintue commute(just now in the opposite direction), instead of schelping on the commuter rail for 3 hours per day. With the job and the baby thing it made all the sense in the world. So we were off to find a new pad to call home. We found it and moved in last Monday. We are just about settled into our new(very small)space. We have a small "extra" room that we hope will some day soon be perfect for a new addition to our family. We have also settled into our new routines. The dog is beyond happy with our new digs. He has never has so many four legged friends. I could not be happier about that. Hubby is back on his groove,with the new job and city vibe all round. Me, I have beome a human pin cushion. That is my other BIG news. The process has begun. For the last 8 days I have given myself a 1/2 inch shot filled with suppression meds in the tummy. So, far so good. Only side effects have been some slight headaches and night sweats. On satruday I find out if my one shot again gets to turn into two shots again. And get this..I hope it does. How crazy is that? That second shot begins the stimulation phase of this process. It allows my to mature multiple eggs instead of just the one. I am not sure how long I will take these shots. I think it will be somewhere between 10 and 14 days. Once I have lots of mature eggs I have the retrieval. Then onto the transfer.
I promised myself I would try to document this crazy process should I need to go thru it again. So, I should be checking in daily from here on out.

Happy Belated Birthday Baby

How could I forget... Not sure but I did. He is Nine. Nine years old! You are the very best baby a girl could ask for. Thank you for laying on my cold feet just right so they get toasty warm. Thank you for hopping in bed and snuggling with with me every morning once David is up. Thank you for your excited happy greetings where your tail spins round and round when I walk thru the door, with the same enthusiasm whether I have been gone for 5 hours or 5 minutes. Thank you for your sad eyes when I know you are bored or think you did something wrong. Thank you for the way you lay your head on my leg and cry when you want to go play. I love you.

Ch Ch Ch Changes....

So, we are not in the position today to move back to Portland (whah!!). But we are slowing losing our minds in the burbs. We live in a very nice burb that is close to the ocean, has lots of outdoors space, a few good restuarants. But not enough energy. Not enough stuff to motivate you to get out the door on a cold winters night. And trust me right now we need the motivation. We have been exploring the idea of moving into Boston for the next year. Maybe less. Maybe more. It is a decision that has not been easy to come by. Not sure we have even decided. But there are some reasons it makes sense. One big reason I mentioned above. We are both really feeling stagnant in the burbs. We need some sparks. We need to shake things up. So, while not our first choice at a mininmum there is a bit more buzz. Also, for those of you following along we are trying add to the family by becoming a part of the current baby boom. Apparently we need a little spark in that department too. So, supplying that spark is one Dr. G at the BWH in Boston. Given the numerous appts to be poked, proded and implanted it would make my life easier to be close by. So, while we recognize it is not exactly what we want it might be just what we need right now. So, off to search for a new place to call home.

Where has the time gone..

The holidays is my excuse albeit a lame one. After all I did not commit to handmade gifts only (although I love the idea, maybe next year..), nor was my calendar chock full of events and holiday gatherings. So, no exucse. But I am back and hoping to commit to posting here more.

So, what has been happening.. Well it was in fact the holidays. Last minute plans had us hosting family on Christmas Eve. So I spend the few days notice dashing around purchasing sticking stuffers for all the nieces and nephew, trimming the house so it appeared we had some of that Christmas Spirit. It all worked out in the end but we were left feeling spent and vowing next year to go on holiday for the holidays.

Let's see what else..talk of moving back west continues on a almost daily basis. Work, work and more work. There is a low hum here in the office of possible changes later this year. Nothing of substance. Just the ole rumor mill churning. But... the current buzz is by the end of the year my office will close and move operations to Colorado. Again just speculation at this time... SO, Stay tuned. Maybe the kick in the ass I need to get myself back to Portland.
The baby-making has been on hiatus too. We have a doc appt. scheduled for Friday to discuss next steps. I will let you all know how we make out.