9dp3dt- Feeling Blue

So, I am feeling very different. And not in a good way. My boobs no longer hurt and I feel like my old self. So it seems this cycle is a bust. I have 6 more days until the beta test but I am sure it will only confirm what I have been feeling. I have been tearing up all day. Over all kinds of stupid stuff. D does not even seem to be aware that we are waiting to find out if we are pregnant and yet I cannot stop thinking about it. In my head I am already onto IVF #2. That is probably not the best attitude but I think it is a form of self preservation. I am trying to protect myself. I am planning to work from home the day of the beta. I am sure I will not be in any kind of shape to deal with the public. I am sorry to be such a bummer. I wish this was not the case. Boo-hoo for me.